3rd Anniversary Video

~~~~ MANY FACES OF JOHN ~~~~

Able to Laugh Again As He Would Want - Long 3yrs

Remember him with LAUGHTER not TEARS! (lesson from Mama)

Eulogy that our daughters wrote for their Dad.
Created by Jenny Dutcher-Farha, Heather Dutcher-Spencer, Sarah Dutcher

Eulogy read on August 10, 2008 at the Trisagion for John Robert Dutcher

October 13, 1953 – August 8, 2008





Father Constantine, Fr. Jeremy, and all the beautiful family of my Dad.



A few weeks ago, I was struggling with the fact that my daughter would never face-to-face meet a man that was such a dear friend to me and was beloved by so many. The faith and love that he spread couldn’t just stop. It wouldn’t be right. So I started writing. My sisters joined me and together we recognized that his memory will never stop as long as we remember and act on the things I am about to tell you next. Feel free to add your own to this list as I am sure all of you have your own gems you have taken from knowing my Dad.



This is what we have learned from our Dad….



If the signs at Disney World tell you that you that you are too sick to go on the rides…ride them anyway.



How to make chocolate chip cookies.



Always buy the biggest fireworks they have.



How to fly a kite and do amazing tricks with it.



It takes two to save the Earth…when playing Space Invaders.



Freckles can definitely look cool. So can being bald.



When you hear the theme from Jaws on the piano…RUN.



Try to answer the phone, “Howdy.”



Your early 50’s should ALWAYS involve a Harley.



Sharing a bathroom with 4 women is not fun or easy.



There is no such thing as a small bowl of ice cream.



Put as many Christmas lights on your house as possible. Griswold is a great nickname.



Oreos are the best cookies in the world.



Watch National Geographic and NOVA.



The Space Exploration in the 60’s was the best time in American history.



Tornados are to be videotaped, not feared.



Dogs are a member of the family.



Special occasions and big days call for doughnuts with sprinkles with heart-shaped ones on Valentine’s Day.



Chicago is beautiful at Christmas.



Thanksgiving turkeys are best when fried.



Name brands are always worth a couple extra pennies.



When your daughter asks for $5, give her $20.



Take your daughter to work with you.



Daddy gets his OWN bag of candy corn at Halloween.



Jurassic Park is better with the surround-sound on.



How to hang on tight to a motorcycle.



You are never too young for power tools, but

you are never too old to play dress-up with your kids or grandkids.



The secret to grilling kafta, chicken, and steak at the same time without burning anything.



It’s not over until Dad says it’s over.



The love of music and the love of literature.



Work really hard for something you really want, and work with your hands. If you can fix it yourself…than fix it.



Garden. It’s good for the soul.



Wax your car once a year and wash your windows way more than that.



ET phoned home and so should you.



Watch the weather.



There should always be laughter at the dinner table.



Snow is never an excuse to miss church.



Be hospitable, be creative, and don’t be ugly.



The middle child isn’t cursed. They are BLESSED.



Everyone should know how to hook up their electronics themselves.



Love carpentry and learn to stain wood.



Be a duck and let it all roll off your back.



Life is too short to be little.



These last few are critical ones that needed less words and he lived daily…



Serve behind the altar if you are a boy. Serve others if you are a girl.



Icons should be in every room.



Keep a list of people to pray for.



You STAND to say prayers for dinner, you KNEEL to say prayers before bed.



God gives us what we need.



Always turn to Christ first.



Holy Week is the most beautiful time of the year.



Don’t be afraid of the unknown.



In life…be happy more than you are sad.

REMEMBER WHERE YOU CAME FROM.

And finally . . . through the past 8 months, my father would sign all of his texts and emails with the thing I think he wanted us to remember most,

“Dad loves his girls.”

Who Am I?

A female friend sent me an inbox message on Facebook asking, “Who are you, really?”
I was taken aback by that, as I’ve always thought I’m a pretty “open book”. So here goes after much thought and prayer. And sorry if the paragraphs jump around. I am not a great writer. After reading, if you want to un-friend me that’s okay, I’ll always love you anyway.
First, I’m a daughter & handmaid of God, an Orthodox Christian. You don’t have to accept it but you cannot change it. My faith is what has sustained me and brought me through the heart wrenching loss of my husband and brought me out of deep grief depression. Those of you who have lost a spouse can relate, those of you who haven’t can’t possibly understand. No it’s not the same as losing your parents, grandparents, aunts or uncles or even a child. Though those ‘are’ deep hurts they are different. When God said you would become ‘one’, He meant it. You lose a part of yourself and everything that was ‘normal’. You have to figure out ‘who’ you are now by yourself and what the new normal will be. And losing to The Big Ugly C is not something you forget. I also have dodged cancer twice now myself and I give thanks to God I’m still here for my children. Cervical and then melanoma on my face. Let me tell you the facial reconstruction was no walk in the park.
I’m a mother and grandmother. I take those two jobs very seriously and try to perform my duties with even measure of firm guidance and lots of loving laughter. My children and grandchildren are my heart and my first priority in life. Nothing and no one are more important to me, not even myself.
I’m a woman but have a child’s heart at times. I’m an adult but in some things I refuse to grow up or old. I used to be shy before the summer of 9th grade. That’s when I figured out we’re all basically the same. We all want to love and be loved for who we are. So I made myself stick out my hand and say, “Hi, my name is Nila, what’s your name.” Works more times than not.
I don't lie, cheat or steal and abhor those who do! And if I catch you doing it, I will call you on it. I might twist the truth if you are on a "need to know basis" and don't need to know.
I’ve experienced some things that most would be shocked by but I’ve learned valuable lessons and to be a better person for having known them.
I grew up without much money but with the best loving parents anyone could ask for. They taught me to appreciate the finer things in life as the blessings they are and not to take them for granted. I’m not poor but rich in the amount of loving family and friends I have. I don’t take them for granted either. I'm very loyal and you can trust me with your secrets as they will be locked in my heart only to be discussed with you if you need to vent.
I’m short but feisty and with a temper to match. But there are only four things that will get me to climb you like a tree and tear you limb to limb. Be abusive to old people, children, the handicap or animals. You’ll wish you picked on a rattlesnake instead because this cat bites for those that can’t defend themselves.
I don’t do cranky-negative people for any length of time. Only you can change your attitude and I don’t have to be around you or live with you…you do.
I know God gives us everything we “need”, but we have to be willing to use the tools He gave us & not to expect something for nothing. I’ve worked hard since the age of 14 and I expect others to work just as hard. I don’t mind hard work, sweat & dirt under my nails or on my face. As long as I can see progress I’ll keep on working until it’s done.
I’m loud of voice and louder with laughter. I look to find joy instead of tears in every situation if possible. Yes, I’m aware I’m also strong willed and with a strong personality that’s hard for some to take. But I’m also soft of heart and can be hurt & made to cry. I just don’t let many see me do it.
I was born in the city and still live there but am a simple country girl at heart. That’s why when I’m out in God’s creation I feel soothed as nothing else can make me feel.
I’m eclectic to the extreme. Don’t try to second guess me, you’ll just become more confused. Ask me anything, I’ll usually answer truthfully “if” I think you need to know. If I’m told I can’t do something, I will find a way to show you I can.
In music, I love every genre from country to classical and everything in between. With the exception of rap and death metal. Country music is my first love and yes, I own two pairs of cowgirl boots!
I’m a Chameleon. I can adapt and fit in anywhere and to any occasion. High class affair; I can conduct myself with poise and dress to the nines as classy as Grace Kelly. Normal (no such thing as low class) affair; I have a closet full of blue jeans, tennis shoes/flips and t-shirts. I’m good with casual. Pure Country; I love sappy songs, to two step, to dig in the dirt and mud to plant a garden. That’s what soap and water are for and I know how to use them. I’m a woman after-all (see above paragraph-LOL)
I try to give more than I take and I demand respect as I give it to everyone that deserves it. If I can make one person smile, touch a soul with laughter, I’ve done my job well for the day. I even embarrass my daughters by making happy conversation with total strangers. I might be the only bright spot of their day. I try to give encouragement to those who have challenges that I can’t help with. I’ve been known to give my back and arms to help when someone needs it and I have given clothes, food and shelter. Not for anything in return but because God said we should. That’s good enough for me.
I’m not a great housekeeper, but neither does the house “keep” me. There are more important things that need my attention. It’s not dirty just cluttered most of the time since I’m never home for long periods. I’m heavy but healthy. And that’s all that needs to be said on that subject. I drink, but not to excess. Hangovers are not my idea of a good time. I smoke, not proud of it, it’s an addiction that one day I will beat the devil over. I cuss when I get really mad and then feel super bad afterwards. Not because I cussed, for they are just words. But because of the harm it does to those I directed it to as they can be like daggers that cut deep. Don’t judge me for that’s God’s job.
I go to church most every Sunday and I also go to bars with friends to hang out or hear a band play. Both sides of a coin and as I said, ECLECTIC to the EXTREME.
So, there you have it. This is who I am. You either like (love) me or you don’t. And if you don’t, that’s okay too. God made this world big enough for both of us. Just don’t share my space.
With love & laughter, Nila

November 26, 2010

It's been a while since I posted to this Blog. I feel that someone has turned the speed up on the clock. I can't seem to get all the things done I want in a 24hr period anymore.

The family is growing by adding my newest son-n-law, Isaac David. And now we are awaiting the arrival of Nyla LuAnn in mid February around Valentines Day. Sarah is glowing with Motherhood now and getting really excited about being a mom. Isaac is, I think, a little shell shocked about being a daddy but he will be a good one.

Jenny, Aaron Thomas & Georgia Ruth are all great. Georgia Ruth is not only walking now but jabbering away in her own language. Totally cute and just twists everyone around her little fingers.

Heather, Aaron Micah, John Jeremiah, & Corbin Leo have been super busy these last few months. The boys are both old enough to be in sports and that keeps their parents hopping! They have become incredibly super boys with big, big hearts. They both are Nana's Little Men.

As for me, I'm taking each hour of each day as it comes. Some days are better than others, but with God's help, I'm finding happy moments in each.

Thanksgiving was fabulous because all of the kids & grandkids were home with me.
We ate too much, got too loud, fought, loved and laughed! And we were all very thankful for everything that God has given us. May He bless each of you as He has blessed us.


Love Each and Everyone of you, Nila

Isaac & Sarah's Wedding-Aug 28,2010

WOULD YOU LIKE TO “STUFF” THE BALLOT BOX FOR HEATHER?

Show support and vote for Heather today for Peoples Choice Mrs. Oklahoma International! The People's Choice Award will be presented to the contestant with the highest vote total.
Vote packages start at just $5 and are available only online. Select one of the larger Vote Packages to cast even more votes for your money.

Vote Now & Vote Often!

All proceeds go to the contestants platform charity and pageant charity.
75%=Pancreatic Cancer Research and 25% Go Red for Women's Heart
None is kept by the contestant or the pageant

Now's you chance to make your vote count. Go to this site and vote for my daughter, Heather Dutcher Spencer-Mrs. Cleveland County for Mrs. Oklahoma International 2010.

THE PEOPLES CHOICE <-----Click to Vote *****Footnote: Heather was interviewed today by the Daily Oklahoman. It will be in this Saturday's paper and online. Look for it!*************** Heather’s Count Down to Pageant

We have the most amazing friends and families supporting my daughter Heather in her bid for the Mrs. Oklahoma International 2010 Competition and as the Western OK Event Coordinator for the Pancreatic Cancer Action Network. We thank you from our hearts. As you can guess, her platform is Pancreatic Cancer Awareness, in honor of her late father (my late husband) John Robert Dutcher, who passed away on 08/08/08 after only 6 months from this deadly, painful disease.
She has been a very busy young woman with many appearances at parades, talking with various groups, the Go Red for Women (pageant cause) at the State Capitol/Oklahoma Heart Hospital and a radio spot on KISS FM.
These past few months have gone fast and the countdown is on with competition March 5th-6th in Stillwater, OK. Please join us on Saturday at noon for the final ceremony and help our family cheer Heather on!

You can read Heather's bio online at The Mrs. Oklahoma Pageant

If you cannot participate that's okay too.
Your prayers mean alot to us and cheering her on in her quest to help the fight against PC.

Message me if you have any questions.
Pass this on to all your friends and family

We ♥ all our family, friends & supporters.
Heather's Mom, Nila

Thank you for supporting my daughter Heather in her bid for the Mrs. Oklahoma International 2010 Competition.
Her platform is Pancreatic Cancer Awareness, in honor of her late father (my late husband) John Robert Dutcher, who passed away on 08/08/08 after only 6months from this deadly, painful disease. Go to the link and become a friend and watch for the news when you can start voting on the competition website. She still needs sponsors for travel and program book ads if you know of anyone or any company that could help.
Message me for details.
Pass this on to all your friends and family
We ♥ all our friends & supporters.
Heather's Mom, Nila

CHECK OUT Heather's Facebook Page:
Heather Dutcher Spencer for Mrs. Oklahoma International 2010

I am a mother of two beautiful little boys, a wife to a wonderful man and a super busy advisor to students at OU's Gaylord College of Journalism and Mass Communication. To honor my dad's memory, I've taken up the banner of fighting pancreatic cancer so no one else will... need to suffer. Of those diagnosed with the disease 75% die within the first year. 95% die within 2 to 5 years. My dad was gone within 6 months. For more information on pancreatic cancer and fighting the disease, visit the Pancreatic Cancer Action Network web site at http://pancan.org . I'm currently serving as the Western Oklahoma Event Coordinator Volunteer for the state Network affiliate. We are planning several great events including a yearly Gala and Purple Stride.

Great Home waiting for Growing Family

Dear Friends & Family.
It's been awhile since I posted to the family blog. As alot of you already know I've been pretty busy! I've been working on our home doing some update renovations. Our home has been a blessing for the last nine years and there has been lots of joy and sadness. I would love to stay here, but it is just too big for just one person and needs the loving care that a growing family can give to it. Also, I need to get alot closer to work. Driving over a 1,000 miles a month is not my idea of fun, nor is it the wisest thing to do in todays economy. John and I had talked about the real possibility that this day would come and we were accepting of it. My memories will go with me were ever I move. After-all, that's all that is important in this world,the making of happy memories for our loved ones.
It is not 'officially' on the market but will be within the next week or two.
I've decided to "take the bull by the horns", so to speak, and start the marketing process on my own. I have a short music slide show below as well as some specs for my home. Please look them over and pass onto your friends and ask them to pass on as well. With todays technology word spreads quickly and I pray helps to sell our home quickly and at a good price for such a great house. I will try to be more diligent at posting pics and stories in the coming days of the family for your enjoyment. As you all know, laughter is my motto and joy helps to heal.
With profound love for all of you, Nila





ADDRESS: 9700 PHEASANT LANE CITY/ZIP: OKLAHOMA CITY/73162
ADDITION: EAGLE LAKE II COUNTY: OKLAHOMA
DIRECTIONS: NW Expressway & Rockwell Avenue. Turn N on Rockwell, turn W on Mantle Drive(just past Britton light) go 1block and turn N on Pheasant Lane. 2nd house with long front porch on your right. (corner of Pheasant Lane & Skylark Terrace) SCHOOLS: ELEM:Britton MIDDLE: Cooper HIGH: PC North

GENERAL INFORMATION: BEDS: 4 SF MOL:2400 BATHS: 2 1/2
YEAR BUILT:1977 HEAT:central gas COOL: central electric
STYLE: TRADITIONAL LEVEL:1
LIVING:1 XLG GREAT ROOM 28x22
MASTER BR:15x15 BR 2:12x13
BR 3 :12x13 BR 4 :12x13
KITCHEN:10x23 includes eat-in area
DINING:Two-(1 eat-in) (1 formal 10x12)
FP:one FOUNDATION:slab
FENCE: wood/privacy GARAGE:3
OTHER:ENCLOSED PATIO &OUTSIDE RAISED WOOD DECK
ADDITIONAL INFORMATION:
MASTER BR:lighted ceiling fan/sliding doors leading to enclosed patio/one double wide closet & one double wide walk-in closet/cable access/privacy folding doors to bath vanity area/full length mirrors leading to walk-in closet and medicine cabinet
BR 2 lighted ceiling fan/double wide closet
BR 3 lighted ceiling fan/double wide closet
BR 4 lighted ceiling fan/double wide closet
MST BATH:new faucet/exhaust fan/ heater/ marble countertop
MAIN BATH:new carpet in vanity area/exhaust fan/heater/marble countertop
HALF BATH:all new faucet/toilet/countertop/sink PATIO: lighted ceiling fan/all windowed and fully working KITCHEN: new stainless electric stove top & stainless vent-hood/new faucet/new stainless double sink/double ovens/new countertops/under-counter lighting/new pot lights in ceiling/new lighted remote controlled ceiling fan/new dining chandelier /breakfast bar/lazy susan under counter for canned-boxed foods/pull out cookware drawers/2yr old stainless dishwasher & garbage disposal OTHER:new 2" white faux wood blinds through out/new new new carpet hallway in all 4 bedrooms/new wood laminate flooring in formal dining, kitchen, laundry room & half bath/total of ex-large picture windows great for natural lighting & Christmas displays/remote garage door opener & keypad entry opener/Ex-large wood storage barn with shingled roof and loft for gardening tools or use as work shop.

Awesome Websites

Please check out these new websites. (links below & to the right)

This is a great outreach and is touching alot of people.

http://www.gettoknowtheoriginal.net/orthodox.html

A group put this together with V. Rev. John David Finley, St. Gabriel Church, Angels Camp, California. Pass it on! Have a blessed day.

Also, this is a group from our own St. Elijah Parish. This site is a

great tool to use in our journey thru Lent and beyond Pascha.

http://fastingforlent.blogspot.com/

HIS Handmaiden, Nila

The Altar of Sacrifice-by Presbytera Susan Wallace

*+ EMBER TIDINGS +*

The quarterly Newsletter of the Western Rite Parishes

of the Diocese of Wichita and Mid-America of the

Antiochian Orthodox Archdiocese of North America
Volume 7 ▪ No. 1 March, 2009

The latest issue of Ember Tidings is attached in a link below (I only kept the pages pertaining to this blog). It features a beautiful picture of the altar on the cover and the story by Presbytera Susan Wallace of its construction by Subdeacon John with the help of Ellis Hanna and John's brother, Mark Dutcher (pg.11 & 12).

She wrote a beautiful, loving piece that contributes to the memory of my husband which brought tears to my eyes and warmth to my heart. Enjoy and God Bless, Nila


(Click the link below and then click download file requested for the pdf to open)
http://www.fileden.com/getfile.php?file_path=http://www.fileden.com/files/2009/3/18/2369218/EMBER%20TIDINGS_2009_MARCH.pdf

Belated Christmas Update

For all those who have prayed for our family with love and wondering how we are doing, here goes.

The holidays were bitter-sweet as one might guess. There was some sad times and really beautiful times. Missing John has been pretty hard to take at times but we all know he is with God and praying for us left here to carry on. With all the love and care we have all received from all of you wonderful friends and family we are pulling through, one day at a time. With that said, on to the beautiful things....

All my children and grandsons have really been pulled closer this Christmas and with the addition of Georgia Ruth, we are growing day by day.

The grandsons, John Jeremiah and Corbin had a great time at Christmas and are such a joy to watch as they become gracious and loving young boys. Here JJ is helping Corbin open their joint present. And they are having a blast with all the toys Saint Nicholas left them.


In case anyone misses Sarah and I not sitting in our "normal" seats the next couple weeks, just thought I'd let everyone know that we are going to be with Jenny & Aaron for the churching of Georgia Ruth on the 18th and her baptism on Feb 1st. Thanks be to God that all my girls and their families are children of God. I thank Him every day for that. And to give you all a smile and a chuckle, I leave you with a link to a video that Jenny sent me to 'keep me in the loop' of Georgia's daily growth. She is one happy baby like her mommy.
(aww, technology! there is sound- click the play button )

ENJOY the delight of a child!

Georgia Ruth is home!!

Thank you all for the prayers, emails and phone calls. Baby Georgia Ruth
was taken out of NICU late Saturday evening and moved into a room with her
mama. Her lungs had cleared THANK GOD. I stayed with Jenny that night because poor Aaron has a raging head cold and had been there the whole time since Thursday. (just now recovering myself from the long week) Both of them got to go home late Sunday evening and are settling into the blessed routine of finding their way as a family.
Again thank you all for being great friends and family to me and mine.
And of course, I will be filling the blog soon with blessings of my children and
grandchildren during this wonderful Advent and Christmas Season.
Christ is Born! Glorify HIM!!!
His Handmaiden,
Nila Dutcher

WELCOME GEORGIA RUTH- 12/11/8 - 8lbs6oz 19 1/2in 5:38pm

http://picasaweb.google.com/niladutcher/WelcomeGeorgiaRuthDecember11_2008#
SLIDE SHOW on right side of blog ---->

Please pray for my daughter and grandaughter, Jenny and baby Georgia Ruth, on Thursday December 11th. Jenny is scheduled for a C-section at 5pm on that day so Georgia will be here to cuddle soon. Although I think her Mama is more than ready too. I will keep everyone posted.
Pregnant Jenny really does glow! See?...........







Columbia Wesley Medical Ctr
Address:
550 N Hillside St, Wichita, KS 67214
Phone:
(316) 688-2000